Pornholio

Pornholio - when you have finished rubbing one out watching porn but realize you forgot to grab something to wipe up the "spillage" so, (like your namesake Cornholio of Beavis and Butthead fame) you pull your T-shirt up over your head and go on a quest for TP. In your case, however, it ain't for your bunghole.

"I am the Great Pornholio" I need TP for my jizz load."

bachelor load

a load of laundry comprised of whatever you need clean, first. Usually consists of t-shirts, skivvies, jeans, white socks, and a towel or two. You'll get to the rest of the pile later. Really.

- or - doing loads of laundry without regard to color or fabric. Just keep filling the washer until the pile is gone. Those socks will eventually find thier mates when all is said and done.

"Dude.. the game starts at 3 but you can drop by anytime after 2. "

"um.. I gotta do laundry first though"

"oh man, you wont get here til halftime.."

"No worries, just gonna do a bachelor load. Once it's in the dryer, I'm on my way"

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ritalini

Ritalini is a special pasta Italians give their young people afflicted with ADHD. The special Ritalin enhanced carbohydrates it contains help to calm them down to the point of wanting to take a nap.

Momma: "Pappa, Guiseppi has been acting up again, he's been running around the village pinching nuns on their culos!"
Papa: "Oh my, mio amore! Fix that boy a big bowl of ritalini , that should quiet him for a bit."

procrastigmatism

When you have a vision dysfunction that will overlook dirty dishes, peeling paint, the change oil light on your car, etc; because it is something you'll get to later. Really, you will.

I didn't even realize that I was out of clean plates nor that my sink was full of unwashed dishes. Curses, my procrastigmatism is acting up again! Sometimes known as a different, "convenient" form of lazy eye