Oprah Jeans

Very tight fitting black jeans worn by obese women who have just dropped five pounds in water weight in an effort to show the world that they are no longer fat. These jeans are black since this color hides rolls better than light colors and are usually debuted with hands in the air and a techno beat and pushed along with the temporary arrogance of knowing that turkey is better for you than pork.

Oprah reinvents herself about every five years and walks onto the show wearing her famous Oprah Jeans. Don't we all love getting parenting advice form the richest and most barren woman on the planet?

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MexiVan

Any late 1990's model Dodge Caravan, Ford Windstar, or Mercury Villager registering at least 180,000 miles and usually purchased at buy-here-pay-here car lots. These vehicles are driven by recently-arrived Mexicans, Guatemalans, and Hondurans and are easily identified by chromed plastic hubcaps, flame and soccer ball decals, and dashboards decorated like a Guadalajaran Hooker's living room. Driver beware! These vehicles have a way of eating insurance cards and inhaling the carpet fibers causes amnesia in drivers when asked their names by law enforcement officials. These vehicles also have the ability to become invisible on traffic court day.

Many fine examples of MexiVans can be spied on Sunday afternoons parked outside of Auto Zones throughout the United States.

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Boiled Peanuts

A delicious snack consisting of green (raw), unshelled peanuts boiled in salt water. This delicacy is typically purchased in gas station parking lots and roadside vegetable stands and consumed by southerners of all socio-economic backgrounds. Almost always served in Styrofoam cups and wrapped in the skimpiest napkin ever made, this salty snack is intended to be shared with family and friends although it is not uncommon for asocial types to devour the whole cup as to not share any with his wife/mistress.

Rich Birmingham Business Man: Mama, I got a cup of boiled peanuts for the Auburn vs. Alabama game.

Broke-Ass Methamphetamine-Addicted Construction Worker: Mama, I got a cup of boiled peanuts for the Auburn vs. Alabama game.

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Blue Jean Baptist

A youthful evangelical, usually with a goatee, who espouses the "come as you are" mentality in churches. These guys are near fascists when it comes to their belief that a necktie will block God's power. In other words, if you wear a suit to church you will burn in Hell. These guys can be seen wearing tight jeans and untucked shirts to church and like to carry a guitar in their Chevy truck as to not appear unhip with the luscious little honeys that he wants to fondle when his wife is at the Baptist Ladies’ Bible Study/Lunches.

Mike beat an old man with a baseball bat today for shaving before coming to chuch. He is a militant Blue Jean Baptist.

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Che Guevara

This cat fought for the "liberation" of Cuba from tyrants while in fact he helped put in place an even bigger tyrant by the name of Fidel "no more toilet paper for our shitty island" Castro. This "freedom fighter" is 40 percent to blame for the slaughter of innoncent industrialists who sought to make the best of the island's natural resources and keep the savages at bay.

I bet his beard is a hit in Hell where he is burning for eternity with all Amway salespeople and Johnny Carson.

If Charlton Heston had sex with one of the monkeys on "Planet of the Apes" his offspring would have looked like Che Guevara.

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eBayUI

eBayUI refers to the tendency of certain eBay members to drink large quantities of Pabst Blue Ribbon mixed with anti-depressants such as Lexapro and then go on a bidding frenzy. Very quickly mundane and useless items become the must have item of the year. After a brief black out period the individual then wonders how the hell he is going to pay for all of it.

What the hell I am going to do with 35 vacuum cleaner belts, a penis pump, and a King James Bible with Jesus' words in red? I must have been bidding whie eBayUI.

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Bustin' a Sag for Jesus

Any desperate attempt by middle aged Evangelical youth pastors to appear hip in order to reach young Christians. Generally speaking these individuals wear baggy pants, Birkenstocks, goatees, and, on ocassion, may even have piercings. Their hairstyles are typcially what homosexuals wore 10 years ago...They usually ramble on about Generation Y and use the word "awesome" entirely too much.

Hey, Pastor Mike is droppin' some phat beats on the youth group...looks like he's bustin' a sag for Jesus.

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