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A member of the opposite sex who, after only one or two drunken encounters, starts telling everyone that the two of you are an item.
Girl whose name you can't remember: "Everyone at the bar was blown away when they found out we're dating!"
You: "Whaaa??"
Girl whose name you can't remember: "Yeah! Especially your ex. Her mouth just dropped!"
You: "Maybe you better sit down. You're hallucidating right now."
25👍 7👎
The coincidental slipping of roofies to both individuals at a two-person party, each planning to have their way with the other as soon as he/she looses consciousness.
Dean Carlisle: So, Franco? How you feelin'?
Franco Genovese: To tell you the truth, I'm pretty tired. That last drink really went to my head.
Dean Carlisle: zzzzzzzz
Franco Genovese: Shit! Mutual roofination!
Franco Genovese: zzzzzzzz
45👍 20👎
The state of near facial paralysis resulting from an addiction to plastic surgery. Eventually, its victims begin to appear as if they are being anally raped, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. (See also: paralystallone, kennyrogeritis, almichaelangelo.)
Franco Genovese: "Wow. Is it just me or is Joan Rivers starting to look more like Mickey Rourke than...well...Mickey Rourke?"
Malibu Jackson: "She's got Osteopelosi. I find that very sad."
Franco Genovese: "Yeah. So does Mickey Rourke."
A rare disorder, seen most often in middle-aged white Republican males, wherein the subject is born with, or develops, a third testicle which, left unrestrained, drags along on the ground behind him.
Malibu Jackson: Shhh! I think I hear someone following us!
Franco Genovese: No, that's just my Extra-Terrestical.
Malibu Jackson: Corral that shit, bish!
13👍 2👎
The "personal" picture or pictures hidden deep inside the files of every cell phone on the planet. The pictures are generally self-portraits taken in the mirror of one's own filthy bathroom.
Franco Genovese: Man, does EVERYONE take pictures of their junk and keep them in their cell phones?
Malibu Jackson: Yeah! Here's a frame of mine!
Franco Genovese: Dude! You should get that mounted!
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