Shig

An engagement offered to a performer, predominantly a classical musician, with at least one component which renders the engagement SHIT.

Examples of SHITINESS may include rubbish fee/venue/repertoire/other performers you dislike/being asked to do something stupid or annoying.

" I did a 6 hour long concert last night for £30. It was a proper shig"

" I'm doing a shig tomorrow"

" This is a real shig"

Twattoo

A tattoo which is indicative of twattishness either in form, wording, design or placement.

"I just got a tattoo. It's Cheryl Coles face, on my neck."
" that's not a tattoo. It's a twattoo. You look like a twat."