John Kerry

The alternative to having a hairless chimp for president.

"Uncle Dick I think Colin Powell has my tonka trucks!"

2418👍 2019👎

retarded monkey fuck

Someone who constantly repeats the same lame joke they've already told you 3,000 million times before, expecting that the 3,001 millionth time you're bound to laugh.

Retarded Monkey Fuck: Hey, what's brown and sticky?
Other Guy: I don't know, jackass. Why don't you tell me?
Retarded Monkey Fuck: A stick! Haha!
Other Guy: I'm so glad I have zoloft...

47👍 4👎

pee

What I do in the shower when my parents do something horribly cruel to me.

Mom: No more soda tonight.

Kid: BLASPHEMY!

1040👍 367👎

schmoogit

An expression of anger or remorse.

You bastard, schmoogit! My cat was hit by a plane, schmoogit!

2👍 4👎

polo

An ugly type of shirt worn by preppies and other horribly aggravating stereotypes that is usually worn with the collar popped up.

When Julia said "cute as a polo shirt" I had to stop myself from beating her unconcious with a lead pipe.

35👍 135👎

mushroom

A natural fungus, the shape of Condoleeza Rice's head.

damn that is one shroomy skull!

23👍 27👎

anorexic

some skinny bastard who complains about being thin

"I can't eat anything but bread, I need to lose weight. I'm fricken 15 pounds!"

220👍 672👎