lard

1)An extremely fatty substance usually found on obese people.
2)What the McDonalds burgers are dipped in.

1)She has enough lard on her to tip a tow truck.
2)Before serving the burger, he dipped the meat in lard, slapped it on bread, did not neglect to drop it on the floor and handed it to the customer. Now THATS good service!

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fartner

The piece of shit that accompanies an overtrusted fart. Portmanteau of fart and partner.

Oh my God, that sounded like a fartner.

horsekafoof

the substance found under a dead horse

I had to scrape a couple inches of horsekafoof off my boot during the hoof and mouth epidemic of 72.