The definition of 'Iff' is the same as 'Of', 'Off', 'If', and 'Have'.
"Would you please get iff me"
"I would Iff have gotten away with it Iff it wasn't for you meddling kids, and your dumb dog".
"Get your hands Iff me, you damn dirty Ape".
"I should'ff seen it coming"
"Wait till you see the whites Iff thier eyes".