Trombone

The best instrument ever. Every time a trombone hits a low e the world becomes a purer place. The slide is perfect for making car noises in band class. People may rag on them for their slide but deep inside everyone wants to be a car. Often they don't get melodies but when they do their charm leaves the flutes and clarinets swooning over them.

Jake: Look a trombone!
Marie: Oh, the best of the best.

Post Traumatic Jazz Disorder

Having bad memories from a jazz band. A horrible incident which could be physically or emotionally damaging revolving around jazz or is from jazz band and is remembered often.

I have Post Traumatic Jazz Disorder after David hit me with a saxophone in jazz band.

Saxsexual

A person who is sexually attracted to their saxophone or a saxophone.

Owen: Did you hear that Davis is a saxsexual?
Lucas: Makes sense, he's done some weird stuff.