Frank

place. Tiny Village in Alberta blessed with an abundance of enormous picturesque boulders that make it the "Stonehenge" of the Rocky Mountains. What is the meaning of the odd arrangements? How did the simple people move the enormous stones? Aliens? Why did this advanced civilisation die out?

These, and other mysteries are not addressed at a Government Interpretive Centre. Conspiracy?

Abandoned coal mines abound: ideal for family excursions, or climb the famous "groaning" Turtle Mountain.

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Look at all the boulders! How did they move them? And why did they build their dwellings beneath them? To understand you have to think like the ancient village itself.

You're not going to be Frank are you?

Yes. Yes I am.

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Clashing Colours

Oddly organised knitting enthusiasts who play a little music in between purling sweaters. Twice voted Melbourne's Hottest New Scarfers by the Foster Chunder Association of Woolamaroo, the Clashing Colours are responsible for the designs of most of the away strips in the Australian Football League including the Paramatta Eels, Woogawooga Shielas and the Gosling Surfing Wrens.

The CC were formed in 2009 when a leftist boarder with one testicle grew tired of poking himself with a crotchet hook and decided to take up the bass. Mayhem soon followed and was taught, idiomatically, how to drum. Plenty of yarn and a piano were procured from a second-hand abo store in the blue mountains and, struth, the rest is history.

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G'day mate! Y 'right? I reckon my dingo's colder than a wallies nellie t'night. How'd ya like to pop out and see if Clashing Colours could weave me up a quick Gosling jumper to warm the frost off my wankle. While yer up give the finger to those poms across the road. Ta.

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perther

n. Sheep that has no apparent desire to follow the activities of the flock and thus, by extension, both a person ridiculed for not fitting in, and a free-thinking person who doesn't follow convention.

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Look at the bleeding perther with the funny wide hat!

You mean the fellow with no facial melanomas?

Hanna

place. Pretty village hidden amongst the gravel tailings that scar much of west central Alberta. Home to the Fighting Muskrats Senior hockey team and a plethora of Craft Shoppes, Hanna seeks to maintain an 18th century look to its streets and parks with a laissez-faire attitude to upkeep. The high school band won third place in a regional march-off in 1982 but no other musical talent has emerged from this vibrant arcane fenestration in the Canadian tapestry.

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Have any famous bands come out of Hanna?

Of course! The Hanna Bulls Marchers did us proud back in 1982.

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slow pitch

n. A loose approximation of softball in which the standards are lowered, rules are loosely enforced in a friendly manner, all can play, and heavy drinking is encouraged.

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Hey! Take some speed off that pitch Ace. This is slow pitch, not bean ball!

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farmageddon

n.Unfortunate event which destroys a crop or otherwise damages a farm's existence.

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Yessir. I reckon it was before you was born, before the farmageddon, but this here used to be wheatfields as far as the eye could see. That was before they built them pipelines.

But after you and grandma stole the land from the Indians?

You hankerin' a whipping boy?

bourbon dictionary

n. Compedium of liquors and liquor-related knowledge.

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Dude! Can we mix corn mash and cactus juice and let them ferment together?

Can't see why not, but check on Bourbon Dictionary. We don't want no explosions.

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