tit the cunt

When you reboot a server or computer

Billybob: Dennis my server doesn't seem to be responding where do I start?
Dennis: Please tell me you have already tit the cunt, I can't deal with your level of stupidity any more!

batting marron

When someone finds a sexual partner considerably better looking than themself.

Dennis: Hey Barry, have you seen my new misses?
Barry: Yes mate, you are clearly batting marron!