Personal Jesus

A slightly lanky, bearded man wearing robes and silly sandals that you keep nailed to two perpendicular planks of timber (forming a 'T' shape) in your backyard.

Cops: "Excuse me sir, who is that destitute man you have unlawfully restrained in your backyard??"

You: "oh dude, its just my own Personal Jesus"

Cops: "Sorry to have bothered you sir"

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