Sewerboomer

A boomer that has attained elite status; the living embodiment of narcissism, avarice, ignorance. Someone who took the 'American Dream' nonsense literally, and has lived their whole life completely self-absorbed and disregarding others.

"You know Ralph?"

"Yeah, what about him?"

"I overheard him talking shit about millennials yesterday, and not just that! You should have heard his rant about how everyone is ruining 'his' country and how he deserves a bunch of stuff... what a Sewerboomer!"

Freighturbating

When you masturbate to some (or all) of the black Friday deals in a harbor freight catalog

"Hey bill, check out this air compressor!"

"I know Bob, i found myself freighturbating to it earlier, a lot!"

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Washboard Chub

A type of boner you get from driving down rough, unpaved roads, where the vibration of the vehicle causes you to get hard without anything sexy happening.

"Are we almost to the gun range?!"

"I hope so man, i gots MAD washboard chubbery going on right now, no homo..."

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