Moist Hand Chad

That small wet piece of paper towel that tears off from the paper towel dispenser.

After hammering out a mean grumpy and washing my hands, I pulled a paper towel only to be left holding a moist hand chad with the remainder of the paper towel left in the dispenser.

Cornhole cut

Shaving around your butthole so your farts sound different.

Dude, I was taking a shower and used my wife's razor to manscape, gave myself a cornhole cut and now my farts sound wierd.

Bell Kiss

When while taking a crap the turd breaks free and taps your ball bag on the way down.

While taking a huge crap, the turd gave me a bell kiss.