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ASHLAAAYYY!!!

A word shouted in fear when death is inevitable.
Usually cried out in a guttural roar.

Ash was very excited, it was terribly hard to sleep that night. She was looking forward to a big birthday celebration the next day. A party with all the spoils of a Birthday awaited tender Ash. As she closed her eyes, awaiting precious REM sleep, she was interrupted by a loud noise outside the house. "The fuck?" Ash puzzled. The sound was much more aggressive the second time. "Cunt's fuck! Sounds like mi car" Ash got up to investigate. She peeped through the blinds...everything was normal. "Time to get forty winks" she said to no one. "But first" She ventures outside to see if the car is locked. As she creeps closer a balding, toothless bogan from her past appears! "Ya gotsta holp mi I'm neeeed cash for droogs!!"
The wank stain says incoherently. Ash quick to react, jumps in the car, turns the engine over to escape. "Don think bout leavin papa noids his fix!" The man shouts in desperation. The man hangs on to the car door as Ash tries to reverse. "Doooooggg" he screams. Ash fangs it. The man slips from the car door, his head now underneath the wheel "ASHLAAAYYY!!!" he screeches in bogan speak. Almost seeing his demise, Ash parks and steps out of the car. Maybe she has forgiven him? She walks toward him with a smile, he is ready to embrace her. Instead she quickly boots him in the nads, spits on his thinning hair, shoves 50 cents up his anus and runs inside. Ash has the best sleep she has ever experienced that night.

by GozUnlimited September 27, 2021


McCunt

someone who exhibits cunt behavior inside a McDonalds restaurant or at the drive thru

(Man walks up to the Macdonald's drive through speaking incoherently)
"I am the macca's mascot! Grimace will come, Birdie! Hamburgler! Happy meal!"

(Man approaches inflatable burger)
"I am Ronald. Ronald McDonald, Mascot of macca's, Double quater pounder, Lord of the fries. Are you the happy meal?

Drive-thru assistant-

"Hey! That brings in the customers, I make the deals. You wanna burger?"

(The man begins to snarl. He talks to the burger again)

"Wait for the sign, and our chicken nuggets will be released.
(Man begins to run away)

"You will perish in hot oil! Soon as I find the Happy meal!"

Drive-thru assistant

"What a McCunt!"

by GozUnlimited July 20, 2016


Touch My Bumpkin

A saying used when wanting hands placed in and around your sweet booty.
Usually spoken in a high pitched porn voice

It is Ben's birthday today and as usual he is feeling rather amorous.
He sits alone in his house thinking about getting his thicc as fuck booty snacked on.
He begins to scream out at a frequency akin to a bats screech, "Touch my bumpkin! Touch my little bumpkin! Touch my sweaty little bumpkin!"
His repeated cries for an anal thrashing fall on deaf ears. Ben then shoves a quick fing in his bum and heads to bed. Goodnight Ben

by GozUnlimited April 2, 2020


taint fluff

-a failure

I don't want you marrying that taint fluff!
But dad, I love him....we bought a couch together.

by GozUnlimited July 14, 2016


kadoonka

The sound a turd makes when it hits the water. Usually followed by the splash back of water into the anus.

Naval officer 1 : "I think North Korea just tested another long range ballistic missile!"
Naval officer 2 : "Nah that was just Freddy dropping a kadoonka off the port bow."

by GozUnlimited March 30, 2016


crusty potato

A turd that has suffered prolonged exposure to the sun, resulting in white discoloration.

Son: " This rock taste like shit'"
Dad:" Congrats son you just ate your first crusty potato!"

by GozUnlimited March 30, 2016

18👍 2👎


Flugget

-a fart with malicious intent

The man saw his ex-girlfriend in the elevator in his apartment building.
He began to remember their relationship in vivid detail, most of it good some of it bad. He recalled the fights, the love making, and one strange incident where a pet cocker spaniel may or may not of been thrown out of a window.
The man decided at that moment that all this bickering and fighting wasn't worth ending a relationship so full of love.
As the man began to open his mouth to utter those three little words with tears filling his eyes he realised something....she never returned his Nando's rewards card!
The man then headed towards the elevator door and produced the most vile flugget. As the woman's face made the ungodly shape of a smacked arrsehole, the man smirked, flipped her off, mentioned she had something in her teeth and began his life without her!

by GozUnlimited July 20, 2016