Brett

NOUN: A total 2-face slimeball hypocrite. Someone who acts like Eddie Haskell from the old TV series, prim and proper to parents and people with power and authority, but a cynical and disgusting sleazemeister when among his peers. A model student and altar boy in Society, but into boofing and blackout drunks with his party-boy peers. The kind of guy who'll schmooze and slime his way up the social ladder until he puts himself in position to overturn Roe and deny abortion to victims of party rape like the ones he knew in college.

VERB: To commit a repulsive act worthy of a Brett.

NOUN: Him? No I'd never go to a party with a guy like that. He creeps me out. He's such a total Brett.

VERB: Dude#1--How'd you make out with Mindy last weekend?
Dude#2--Awesome! Totally Bretted that skank-ass hoe. Let's go boof some Roofies! Put on some Marky-Mark. Yeow! Get DOWN!

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Tool

Let's keep it simple. "Tool" is simply a re-Anglicization of the Yiddish slang "Putz" which means the same as the original American slang term "Dick" in both its direct literal and anatomical meanings and its indirect figurative ones. Any context where "Tool" works, the term "Putz" or "Dick" could be substituted. But if you did that, people would know you're a total tool.

LITERAL: "My tool feels like it's ready fall off after partying with Amber last nite."

FIGURUATIVE: "Don't invite Brett. He's such a tool. He's so fake and a jagoff loudmouth."