Mobile Proxy Shopping

The act being seen by others while shopping in a store and talking to the requestor of the item(s) being purchased on your mobile phone to verify the products meet their specifications or to find an alternative item that will.

"Mobile Proxy Shopping was getting me frustrated by having to read the labels of the cereal boxes over the cell phone to my wife just to make sure that I purchased EXACTLY what she wanted, or find something else to meet her needs"

Lap Itch

Implied perception given when you are trying to covertly/secrety text message with your phone hidden in your lap, or under a table and are doing SUCH a crappy job it is very noticable by EVERYONE you are trying to hide it from.

When you catch someone horribly failing to hide they fact they are trying to text message under the table, you should say: "Hey, you should get some cream for that lap itch!"