OAPenis

Old aged penis - the female equivalent of a granny grabber. A woman who likes older men of grandfather age, 60 plus at least.

See that old codger with Gabby? Yeah, she's tappin' that - she loves a bit of OAPenis. I couldn't do it, imagine how wrinkly an old mans ball bag would be?

Twatteries

The energy that keeps twats going, in an argument for example

“Fucking Karen’s going on about astrology again, she keeps asking to do an in depth reading as my aura looks weak and it may be because of Uranus’s position this month or some bollocks like that”

“Don’t worry, her twatteries will run out soon - just keep pouring her Chardonnay and going ‘uh huh’ every now and then”

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Galbatross

A galbatross is one of those girls you just can’t get rid of despite making it obvious you’re not interested - you can be polite, blunt, outright rude and she simply will not get the hint that you don’t want to be near her let alone date her. NEVER screw a galbatross.

“I’ve been trying to hit on this smoking red head at the bar but this annoying chick keeps cockblocking me by getting in the way and talking to me - I’ve made it obvious I’m not interested but she just won’t get the hint”

“She’s a galbatross mate, short of shooting her she’ll never leave you alone - may as well call it a night as this ones fucked now”

Lieazepam

Lieazepam:

A chronic bullshitter.

“Frank told me his new girlfriend is a Playboy model”

Don’t believe a word of it mate, that geezers bang on the Lieazepam - he’d probably have a seizure if he stopped telling porkies”

the winglis clause

A new version of ‘Godwin’s Law’ (the longer an internet argument/debate/discussion goes on the likelihood of a reference to Hitler increases) which we’ll call ‘The Winglis Clause’ that states that as soon as Trump is brought into an internet argument/debate/discussion the topic will immediately descend into a lengthy and verbally spiteful ‘left vs right’ debate leaving the original topic trampled underfoot like an unfit tourist in Pamplona trying their hand at ‘the running of the bulls’. It’s basically a more ‘en flique’ version of ‘Godwin’s Law’ with a few extras on it. In the spirit of Hollywood I have taken an existing, perfectly brilliant concept and repackaged it with some metaphorical CGI.

As soon as someone pulled the winglis clause out during a very interesting thread about the Ohio State Fair I knew it was time to log off before the Trumpeters showed up to argue how great the tiny handed Emperor is.