Matthew reader

The butter dawg. (Dawg with the buttah)
Doesn’t allow water to go down his crack. Liberal democrat. No ass hole. But what he lacks in hole he makes up for in cheeks. His eyes are full of yeast that his mom Melissa used to make fresh bread. She makes so much bread she got arrested and was no longer present for daddy boot time with mr mike.

Spends all his money on ass hair growth serum to keep his little brother warm, and knit fleeces for blind kids.

Nipples that could be mistaken for large water fowl. Lost all his ribs in the Great War and does impressions of gumby at kids parties for wet cheese money.

Subconsciously gay but outwardly slay.

Man Matthew reader is a butter dawg, the dawg with the buttah