ham tongue

An oral condition that is the undesired result of consuming too many sodium injected foods, such as ham. The main symptom of ham tongue is a perpetual and unquenchable thirst accompanied by a lack of saliva.

"Pass me your Gatorade, I can't get rid of this ham tongue." "I am exhausted, I was up all night with my ham tongue."

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landscape rape

Stalking human on human perpetration that manifests in brutal theft of newly planted shrubs, pernennials, or potted annuals. Plant owner is left with a hollow empty feeling of loss, regret, and guilt. Was my landscaping really so tempting? Should I have dialed it back a bit? Less blossoms?

When you come home from work and you are like where the hell are my plants? The real thing America. First world problem. This is landscape rape.

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