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Ket cramps (or K cramps) is the name of the abdominal pain suffered by users of ketamine who take 1g + per day for a prolonged period of time
"Oh man, I've got the ket cramps bad."
"Stop taking ket everyday then you filthy scumbag."
When someone is completely sober and doing something dull whilst all their friend are out partying, they are radio foured.
"Where were you last night?"
"Radio foured."
"Doing what?"
"I had to go to my girlfriend's grandma's ninety fifth birthday party. What did you get up to?"
"We were snorting comedown-free drugs off naked porn stars for a bit and then we got kebabs."
*SIGHS*
A type of live action gambling that can be undertaken in Thailand. First of all the gambler must select three Thai hookers and take them back to his room. The gambler then asks them to reveal their genitals, one by one. Like with a one armed bandit (English word for slot machine), the way to win is to get three cherries in a row. Any less than three cherries and you're BUST
"I wish they had some one armed bandit machines out here."
"We could just play one eyed bandit?"
"Hmm, yeah. Or Thai roulette maybe?"
"Either or man, I just need to unload quickly before my balls get any heavier. I feel like I'm lugging around a couple of coconuts in a 50g peanut bag."
When someone gets wasted to the point that there brains are literally no longer in their skull, they are Kurt Cobrained.
"Ah, fuck! This kid on the sofa's Kurt Cobrained man!"
"What?"
"His brains are all external to his skull and shit!"
"Ahhh! Fuck! Put a lamp shade over his head or something!"
"Ahhh! Okay, there we go. Now what?"
"Now we warm these Pot Noodles up."
When a person who has just recieved pay-off anal sex goes into the bathroom afterwards to freshen up, the noise that they produce as they sit down on the toilet and fart out depraviar is known as a quack echo.
"Whoa! You just hear that quack echo? Leanne must have got lucky!"
"Err, no, i'm in here," shouts Leanne from the kitchen.
"Fuck! It must have been Albert then! That sly old dog."
"Oh yeah, he loves it. And i've got a silencer anyway," explains Leanne, "so you wouldn't hear a quack echo of that magnitude from me."
"A silencer eh? I just do mine in the shower to drown out the noise."
"Classy."
"Oh yeah. Very."
Mistaking a male Thai prostitute for a female one can be called a 'trick of the thai' due to how ladylike many of them look. It's usually an excuse made by men who were out shopping for some ladyboy action, got caught getting it and then didn't want to admit to it after. Because why would they not just check up front if they didn't want it? It's not like we don't know that they're out there. Lurking.
"Whoa, hey Stan, this girls got balls!"
"Wha...err...oh, no way. Total trick of the thai man, I well thought it was a girl. Honest."
"Hmm."
"Yeah...can I have five minutes to finish off?"
Sidling crab-like whilst simultaneously making a high pitched, "w00p w00p w00p w00p," noise.
"Did you see Zoidberg sand crabbing on Futurama last night?"
"No, I had to slay that dragon-witch didn't I."
"Dragon-witch?"
"It's a dragon with the powers of a witch. Or it was anyway. Now it's just 18 tonnes of value to premium grade dog food."