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Kurt Cobrained

When someone gets wasted to the point that there brains are literally no longer in their skull, they are Kurt Cobrained.

"Ah, fuck! This kid on the sofa's Kurt Cobrained man!"

"What?"

"His brains are all external to his skull and shit!"

"Ahhh! Fuck! Put a lamp shade over his head or something!"

"Ahhh! Okay, there we go. Now what?"

"Now we warm these Pot Noodles up."

by H.S. Willsy August 24, 2011

31πŸ‘ 40πŸ‘Ž


Razorblade Romance

A form of preversion.

Sometimes a person who is afraid of necrophilia will combat the act by ingesting razorblades in their penetrateables when they are approaching death. Often, when performed, it's also the cause of death.

"Better not be another razorblade romance..."

*SHLUMP*

"Uh oh..."

See preversions and prevert

by H.S. Willsy August 23, 2011

33πŸ‘ 16πŸ‘Ž


Insane Stunt Bonus Award Committee

The panel of judges that attach a monetary reward to insane stunts performed by reckless vehicleists. Points are rewarded for:

height, length, helicopters taken down, hoes annihilated, hoes impregnated, pimps flattened, homages to Scarface made, police evaded, FBI humiliated, single file rows of, "Gouranga," shouting Hare Krishnas ploughed down, cars exploded, tanks exploded, rescue services exploded and pedestrians splattered.

The committee is currently comprised of Pope Ratzenberger, Kermit the Frog, Tinky Winky, Jerry Bruckheimer and Ringo Starr

"I came off my motorbike the other day and totally splodged a load of old ladies and the Insane Stunt Bonus Award Committee gave me £300!"

"Nice. I only got £30 last week when I accidentally reversed over that penguin."

"You probably wouldn't have got anything if it hadn't have been so endangered."

"Flightless birds are dumb."

by H.S. Willsy August 23, 2011

33πŸ‘ 6πŸ‘Ž


Geeks

A type of carnival freak known for eating live animals

"Remember that tattoo freak in the X-Files?"

"Err...oh yeah."

"What's the name of that type of carnival performer?"

"One that eats live animals?"

"Yeah, that kind."

"They're called geeks."

"Right, right. How fucking hot was Gillian Anderson in that series?"

"Yeah. Definitely yeah."

by H.S. Willsy August 23, 2011

47πŸ‘ 24πŸ‘Ž


Triple Lindy

A sexual position that requires the strength of Superman and the dexterity of Spiderman (and, if you like it kinky, Batman's mask and rubber nipples).

If you're looking at it from the side it looks like the woman is flying. Except she's not flying, she's being held up from underneath by the guys hands and from her spladge by the guys penis. So the guy, standing up with his knees bent, has to hold her up without breaking his back and she has to keep her body in line with his penis without breaking hers. How they manage to do that and still thrust is amazing and probably involves fitness.

"How did they die?"

"Triple lindy spine-snapping mishap."

"Fair play."

"That's why the coffins are L-shaped."

by H.S. Willsy August 23, 2011

82πŸ‘ 102πŸ‘Ž


iSpod

Apple fanboys who know everything about the company from the first line of code on the first Macintosh's operating system to the colour of the inner walls of Steve Job's small intestine

"OMG, I cannot, CANNOT, beliiiiiieve that you still don't have an iPod yet."

"I kind of like my mp3 player dude. I can carry a spare battery around with me in case it runs out and you can't do that with an iPod right?"

"OMG, OMG! Do you know anything about lithium-ion batteries or are you just trying to be cool? Apple bashing is so cool now right? Just get a fucking iPod and an iPhone like uuuuurverybody else."

"Look, iSpod, it's not cute anymore. I'm sick of you sticking your iPhone in my face and showing me some lame app that was seemingly designed by a twelve year old retarded kid. I'm sick of you holding up your iPad in the middle of town and shouting about how cool augmented reality is whilst running about like a fairy. And I'm sick of the sound leak from your shitty, white Apple brand head phones. So. Just. FUCK! OFF!!!!"

"OMG, like whatever."

*KILLS*

by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011

34πŸ‘ 11πŸ‘Ž


Dick Sick

A really horrible word for semen. Especially if it's told to you by your girlfriend

"You gonna make your dick sick?"

"...what did you just say?"

"Ha ha, dick sick. It means spunk."

"Yeah...I got that..."

by H.S. Willsy August 24, 2011

51πŸ‘ 26πŸ‘Ž