ham pony

large proportioned individuals who emit an odor like warm processed meat and who wear extremely tight clothing so that ham roles out at multiple locations. Both conditions are required to qualify as a ham pony

plural: Pone Hammy's

"you'll need a crowbar to get the pants off of that ham pony" or "I'm going to ride that ham pony all the way to sloppy town"
Plural: "Cover your nuggets, here comes a herd of Pone Hammy's!"

girth grinder

A scabby or calloused set of male / female genitalia or pubic area. The hardened and crustaceous state of the genitalia causes it to grind on their partner's reciprocal pubic area thus causing a grinding sensation.

"Jenny, why are you walking funny?"
"I'm chaffed from Reginald's girth grinder..."
OR
"Reginald, why do you scream when you pee lately?"
"Jenny's girth grinder ripped my tip off..."

head flap

A flap or roll of usually fat filled skin at the back of peoples heads revealed by baldness. Usually grows in prominence with age, weight gain, and the relentless pull of gravity.

Plural: Head Flappage

The term "head flap" came to prominence in the mid-1990's when Philadelphia teens would play a game called "Head Flap Slap Crack Trap". The game involved slapping head flaps while sticking opened packets of mayonnaise down the back of the pants. The person had to say "Head Flap Slap" and "Crack Trap" as they were doing the respective tasks in order for it count. When the prankee went to see what was in their pants they often squished the mayo into their pants which was the primary goal of the prank, the head slap being more of a diversionary tactic. This would leave a noticeable white glob that left the prankee with some embarrassed explaining to do.

"Those fools searched my body everywhere for the money but they forgot to check my head flap!"

"What is that smell?" "Gunther probably forgot to wash behind his head flap again..."

"Despite the bitter chill, the back of Walters' head remained comfortably warm due to his impressive head flappage."