weaponized incompetence

A term used by bad managers and by friends, family members, and romantic partners alike in circumstances where they want somebody else to do things their way but they do not want to properly communicate what their way is (or where they are happy to wax on about frivolous details but never justify why said details would actually matter to anyone else).

They will describe whoever is doing a sufficiently poor job reading their minds as incompetent, and if they suspect you are doing a poor job specifically so that they'll have to meet their own ineffable requirements (if you want something done "right", do it yourself) then they will call it "weaponized" incompetence.

In their minds the term means "feigning not being good at a task to get out of doing it" but in practice such a campaign could only ever work when there's only one person who has skin in the game for the task to be done in a certain way to begin with.

"Don't you even know how to make me a sandwich? The pickles have to go on top of the provolone, and the mustard and mayonaise should never touch. You didn't even cut off the crust, and who slices a sandwich lengthwise? It *must* be diagonal! Fine, I'll make my own damned sandwich, but I swear you do this on purpose just to avoid doing it the right way. It's weaponized incompetence! *huff*"