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Upper Saddle River

This is one of the richest towns in one of the richest counties in America. It is home to mostly "new money" people. The old money is hard to come by, but it's easy to tell. Kids from old money parents will never brag about anything. There are probably about 10 of them in the entire town. The rest are all slutty japs with big tits, but most of them are silicone. But don't squeeze them or she'll have daddy sue you for all you've got, and then buy her a new nose with it. All the girls here have at least one coach, gucci, db, or prada bag for every day of the week. guys, your favorite store should be j crew and if you don't own at least ten things that say northface on it, you will never get a girl. if your family doesn't have more cars than drivers, a pool, an in home movie theater, or at least 3 other properties across the world, you're POOR. GET OUT before everyone finds out and talks shit about you, but they probably do anyway. This town is full of daddies who work in NYC "the city" and mommies who stay at home buying manolo shoes for their bitchy daughters all day. It breeds some of the smartest kids in the state even though they just text each other on their new razr cell phones during class all day. This town makes the Northern Highlands parking lot glitter, where the students have better cars than the teachers. If daddy didn't buy you a lexus, bmw, or audi, he probably doesn't love you. Take all the money in your trust fund and buy a new daddy! Unless of course he pimped out some other ride for you like a land rover, high end jeep, or hummer equipped with gps and chrome all over the place. If you crash your car, you'll probably get a more expensive one tomorrow. When you meet someone from this town, they will immediately tell you how great they are because they have sooo much stuff and their parents are sooo rich. If they don't brag to you about everything in the first 10 seconds, they are probably old money and actually have some class, that's a package deal right there. This town is full of jappy bitches and wiggas. What a great place to live!

Cop: You were going 50mph over the speed limit, that's a $300 fine

USR kid: UGHHH!! WHAAAAT! ummm well it's ok, i'm from Upper Saddle River, wait can daddy put that on his amex?

by Happy Highlander January 1, 2007

102👍 58👎


Upper Saddle River

This is one of the richest towns in one of the richest counties in America. It is home to mostly "new money" people. The old money is hard to come by, but it's easy to tell. Kids from old money parents will never brag about anything. There are probably about 10 of them in the entire town. The rest are all slutty japs with big tits, but most of them are silicone. But don't squeeze them or she'll have daddy sue you for all you've got, and then buy her a new nose with it. All the girls here have at least one coach, gucci, db, or prada bag for every day of the week. guys, your favorite store should be j crew and if you don't own at least ten things that say northface on it, you will never get a girl. if your family doesn't have more cars than drivers, a pool, an in home movie theater, or at least 3 other properties across the world, you're POOR. GET OUT before everyone finds out and talks shit about you, but they probably do anyway. This town is full of daddies who work in NYC "the city" and mommies who stay at home buying manolo shoes for their bitchy daughters all day. It breeds some of the smartest kids in the state even though they just text each other on their new razr cell phones during class all day. This town makes the Northern Highlands parking lot glitter, where the students have better cars than the teachers. If daddy didn't buy you a lexus, bmw, or audi, he probably doesn't love you. Take all the money in your trust fund and buy a new daddy! Unless of course he pimped out some other ride for you like a land rover, high end jeep, or hummer equipped with gps and chrome all over the place. If you crash your car, you'll probably get a more expensive one tomorrow. When you meet someone from this town, they will immediately tell you how great they are because they have sooo much stuff and their parents are sooo rich. If they don't brag to you about everything in the first 10 seconds, they are probably old money and actually have some class, that's a package deal right there. This town is full of jappy bitches and wiggas. What a great place to live!

Cop: You were going 50mph over the speed limit, that's a $300 fine

USR kid: UGHHH!! WHAAAAT! ummm well it's ok, i'm from Upper Saddle River, wait can daddy put that on his amex?

by Happy Highlander December 25, 2006

12👍 22👎