ball hop

To blag or to tell lies to try and get away with something. Often heard in a place of work following an extended period of absence. Most likely to be used by the recipient rather than the blagger

Dont ball hop me you lying turd, you werent at hospital visiting your poorly mother as you claim because when you didnt ring into work we rang all the hospitals asking if there was anyone with your surname because we were worried.

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humpbacked swamp donkey

Humpbacked swamp donkey is an excruciatingly ugly person. Normally associated with the the female gender and an extreme example of swamp donkey ie there are many men who will tackle a swamp donkey especially after a few bowls of loud mouth soup but only a rare breed will take on a humpbacked variety

"Jesus I was so steaming I pissed myself last night", "you must be so embarrased", "not as much as the time when you caught me shagging that humpbacked swamp donkey"