kidney stone

God's punishment for the evil you've done in this life, a preview of what an eternity in Hell is going to be like unless you straighten up your act.

Whats a kidney stone feel like?...imagine someone lubricating some barbed wire with rock salt, shoving it up your penis...then pull starting the barbed wire like your pelvic area was a stubborn lawnmower.

338👍 120👎

Profanese

The unofficial language of the U.S. Navy, spoken for the sake of brevity and clarity.

While our sister service, the United States Marine Corps, is able to grasp the rudiments of Profanese and speak it in a pidgen fashion, the Air Force fails to master even the most basic vocabulary, grammar and syntax rendering meaningful communications difficult.(Translated into Profanese thus: Fucking Grunts shit circles around douchebag zoomie mofos in talking shit.)

37👍 30👎

elf abuse

An occasion of a small mischievious person playing a prank on his crank or a trick on his dick.

Mordred the Nimblehanded was turned out from clan Thistlewang for chronic elf abuse.

5👍 7👎

wooser

A loser; spoken thus by a small child who knows one when he sees one.

Keddy tennidy...wooser!

11👍 8👎

John Deere

A manufacturer of fine construction equipment, farm machinery and lawn care vehicles.

Please do not refer to my John Deere LT133 as a riding lawn mower...it is a TRACTOR, asshole!

91👍 52👎

real world

A sober reality that realizes that even though life sometimes sucks you keep moving forward.

Get used to the real world...if you don't like your $5.50/hr job go develop a skill that pays more.

23👍 16👎

witherwanded

Impotent or limpdicked.

Durwood is about as witherwanded as is possible without actually toting it around in a pickle jar.

2👍 1👎