There’s monkeys in the walls

A diary of a wimpy kid reference that kids at my high school won’t stop mentioning. Originated from the seventh book, “The Third Wheel”, which I still think of as the new one despite there being like fifteen or twenty books in the series nowadays. Likely slowly spreading across the entire state of california as we speak.

Guy 1: THERE’S MONKEYS IN THE WALLS!
Guy 2: What?
Guy 1: THERE’S MONEKYS! IN THE WALLS! (Louder!)
Guy 2: Bro, you’re going insane.
Guy 1: it’s bigger than black and white, I ate the whole whale’s life
Guy 2: I’m pretty sure it’s… uh… what the hell even is that from?
*Both random ventura county dudes die*

Canada

A place where if you die, nobody knows if you will die in real life.

If you die in Canada, do you die in real life?

Penis

Penis means efforted in Esperanto, the made up language that takes random words from all over the world. Don't believe me? type efforted into Google Translate, English to Esperanto.

Efforted in Esperanto is penis, look it up on Google translate

slither.io moment

1. Any whimsical/common event that occurs in the popular browser game slither.io.
2. A similar phenomenon to any of such events occurring in a similar game such as Splix or PowerLine.
Examples of slither.io moments include:
A) The chaos that ensues after a very large snake dies, often lasting for several minutes as many noobies quickly get big and reach the leaderboard, then die soon after, rinse and repeat. This generally happens near the map's center.
B) When most of the leaderboard consists of angry morons caught up in the dark crevasse of mainstream US politics. Names used by such players include: "BIDEN IS A TRAITOR" "MAGAS ARE RETARDED" "SEND TRUMP TO JAIL" "TO HELL WITH THE DEMONRATS (sic)". Even if you suck at the game, you're advised to kill any such player you see. Religious names don't count.
C) A moment when a massive snake somehow dies to a tiny player who just entered the game. These little powerhouses often rise to dominate the leaderboard, and I respect them with my whole heart.
D) A moment when you are merely minding your own business and several snakes all smash into your tail at once. This is far more common in a suicidal slither knockoff (powerline.io) due to its extreme lag, but it still counts, probably.
E) In the browser version of slither.io, the network lag is infamously horrible. Often times the game completely freezes for a few seconds, and when it resumes, you discover you randomly died during your disconnection.

*gets to 25,000 length and #1 on the leaderboard*
*gets killed by snake with 23 XP*
*slither.io moment*
*clenches fist and grits teeth*
*opens mouth wide open and deeply inhales*
*eyes get red and veiny*
*heart begins to throb in chest*
*ears begin to inexplicably ring*
*hands and feet begin to curl back*
*tears in eyes, face turns red and wrinkly*
*arms get as veiny as an erect penis*
*dick and balls get extra warm, completely retract into pelvis*
*brain is electrically charged at 5000 volts*
*inhales even more, nearly beginning to shrivel*
(audible for miles, echoes all over) SLIIIITHER.IOOOOOOO MOOOOOMEEEEEEEEEENTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!
*goes into rage and tries to punch a hole through keyboard*
*pounds with all might and overflowing adrenaline*
*shock causes a 9.3 Richter scale earthquake instead*
*tidal waves immediately erupt all over the world*
*the earth's magnetic field does a backflip*
*entire planet explodes*
*sighs loudly*
*drops flat into a coma*
*dies*
all becuase of a stupid snake game

Cheechako

An Alaskan slang term meaning a newcomer, aka anyone who hasn't lived there for like 20 years. A good example are the "one-week wonders" who think they've seen everything after seven days. The word cheechako originates from a chinook jargon term used back in the 1800's. Surely overuse of terms like "Cheechako" could make you feel like a newcomer as well.

Over next summer I will be serving as a park ranger in Alaska, but I'm sure I'll come off as a real Cheechako.

2👍 3👎

Securly

A fucking insane version of iboss. Even teachers who use dyknow will freak out that such a thing is being used. Unlike IBOSS, all websites are blocked by default, so generally you are basically just limited to YouTube, Wikipedia and gmail, and a few other websites if you are lucky. There is an option to remove like 90% of google images results as well.

Securly can block certain YouTube videos, but this takes a few seconds and can be bypassed by looking up the video on Google search, then clicking the video thumbnail instead of the link to the actual video on YouTube.

There is also a program called KillCurly that disables Securly by corrupting the cookies it uses to block websites, and an easily be found on github.io, but I haven't fully gotten it to work so far.

Ok guys, which is worse, Securly or GoGuardian? Like for securly, dislike for goguardian.

7👍 5👎

Underagebait

A combination of underage and ragebait, when someone on a forum pretends to be too young to know anything about what’s going on, for the sole purpose of pissing people off.

Not to be confused with jailbait, which is when underage people (mostly girls) try to seduce grown men (and women, presumably) online.

Crappy example of an underagebait post: hi guys im 8 and whats a pac man?