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1) noun: A mentally impaired person from Hazleton, Pennsylvania; 2) verb: to render something or somebody useless; 3) verb: to act mentally impaired while in the city limits of Hazleton, PA
A hazletard (definition 1) stole my quad, barrelled up City Hall's steps and hazletarded (def. 2 past-tense) the fucking bitch. The cops found him hazletarding (def. 3 past participle) down the block, from meth. I got to leave this fucking town!
12π 5π
A form of exhibitionism, in which a white female tween pushes her naked rear up to a chain link fence, while two Dominican males separately penetrate the women's anus and vagina, through the fence. Very common in Hazleton, Pennsylvania.
Perez: Check out that bitch with the iCarly backpack, signaling us into a Hazletonian Glory Hole.
Carlos: You get the asshole this time, I am sick of scraping shit out of my foreskin.
19π 6π
When a man holds his balls together tightly, and fists a Domincan prostitute's asshole with the balls.
nigga: I would sure like to give you a Hazleton Nut Thrust.
Domincan Ho: (unintelligble Dominican jibbersh)
nigga: Oh yeah. Take it like a white biatch!
Dominican Ho: two dollars.
nigga: Damn your pricey.
The primary mode of transportation in Hazleton, PA, seen outside of every home: A stolen shopping cart!
hazletard 1: Got any WD-40, my ride needs a tune up.
hazletard 2: Ditch that bitch. I got this fly Hazletonmobile, from GIANT Food. No I can go Hazleton drifting, this afternoon.
14π 3π
When a pimp seriously injures or kills his ho, thus losing money by not being able to pimp her out.
detective 1: I'm out here on Highland Road again, looking at another dead prostitute. What a waste.
detective 2: I know. That bitch could be making money sucking and fucking. At least a couple grand on Friday night, alone. It's a damn shame.
detective 1: I believe they call it Hazletonian cost-benefit analysis. It's a form of nigger logic.
8π 3π
If Pennsylvania was to have an illegitimate retarded child, this hell hole would be it.
Commonwealth of Pennsylvania: Can't we just abort Hazleton, PA 18201?
United States Supreme Court: No. Once you hit the third trimester, it's illegal. You are well over three hundred trimesters, already!
Commonwealth of Pennsylvania: FUCK!
52π 7π
When a man engages in anal sex with another person, that is riding in a Chinese swing with diarrhea pouring out their ass.
If you try the Hazleton Mudslide, you're a total fucking pervert.
8π 1π