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Stone Couch

An unofficial landmark for kids in the Hazleton area of Anthracite Coal Region, consisting of a formation of rocks resembling a couch. It is located east of Hazleton, and south of Eckley Miner's Village Historic Site & Museum.
The Stone Couch appears to be man-made, but the culture that manufactured it is unknown. It is purportedly haunted, but no proof by local paranormal investigators have turned up any evidence.
Local legend says that if you sit on it once, you get scratched. Twice you sit on it, something bad happens to somebody close to you. Thrice you sit on it, you die.

The Stone Couch isn't scary at all, but just plain queer. The worst that can happen, is you waste a tank of gas looking for it.

by Hazletard-in-Chief November 20, 2010

11๐Ÿ‘ 3๐Ÿ‘Ž


Gallagher Sledge-O-Matic

1. The signature sketch of prop comic Gallagher, in which he smashes miscellaneous items with a large mallet not an actual sledgehammer. Apparently, a sledgehammer is too heterosexual. 2. A potent strain of methamphetamine, named after the above prop comic. Originating from around Hazleton, Pennsylvania. Taken orally, intravenously, anally, vaginally, nasally and smoked. The original lab was raided at the dawn of 2010, but is back in operation.

1. douche bag: I brought the clear plastic tarp for Gallagher's show. Hope he brings the Gallagher Sledge-O-Matic. Hee hee hee.

2. hazletard: I need a quarter hit of some Gallagher Sledge-O-Matic, bad. So I can suck truck driver cock for enough cash for a full hit, no homo.

by Hazletard-in-Chief December 10, 2010

4๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


reschooler

A person trying to relive school, usually high school or college.

Nicole: I am so happy to be a highschool English teacher. I also get to head the yearbook staff. I love yearbook.

Melvin: Fucking reschooler. God your pathetic.

Nicole: Your just jealous, because your a self employed businessman, making seven figures a quarter. While I am getting to relive highschool everyday.

Melvin: I'd rather relive the gang bang I had at the Playboy Mansion last week.

by Hazletard-in-Chief May 31, 2011

3๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


strip mine

Archaic term for surface mine.

Let's go driving in the old strip mine, with your dad's Porsche Cayenne.

by Hazletard-in-Chief June 1, 2011

5๐Ÿ‘ 4๐Ÿ‘Ž


scamotz

1. a confectionery mixture made of: one part low grade Mozzarella cheese, one part American cheese and three parts hydrogenated vegetable oil. Found on cheap pizza and other Italian influenced American foods. 2. semen

Maria: I almost choked to death on some scamotz, last night.

Jennifer: The cheap Italian stuff, or the testicle gravy?

Maria: Both, actually.

by Hazletard-in-Chief December 10, 2010

9๐Ÿ‘ 5๐Ÿ‘Ž


Nationwide Thugs

The nonexistent gang, all the the wiggers in Hazleton claim to be a member of. Sometimes shortened to "Nationwide."

hazletard: I'm in da Nationwide Thugs, yo. I'll cap your ass.

human: Does the Aryan Brotherhood, now except wiggers? That's the prison gang that runs the white section in state prison. That's were crackers like you go, when you keep this act up into adulthood.

hazletard: Watch your mouth fool. Nationwide will fuck you up.

human: Thanks, for all the footage of your terroristic threats, for my new cellphone. Enjoy prison, biznitch!

hazletard: I'm sorry. Don't call the police. I just act like this, because I'm a loser.

by Hazletard-in-Chief December 10, 2010

2๐Ÿ‘ 3๐Ÿ‘Ž