Jesus Duck

The arrival of Jesus Duck is basically how you know a pond or lake is frozen over, when it is not necessarily obvious due to weather conditions, trees in the way, etc...

Its basically a duck walking on the lake when normally you'd see the duck (or swan or goose) half-in paddling away.

Jesus Duck does not bring gifts nor does he rise from the dead. His only message is that the body of water is now potentially traversable with skates.

I wasn't sure if the pond was frozen over or just very still, but Jesus Duck arrived and my insatiable curiosity was slated.

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Instatrash

Basically, its mail that you get that you never open and throw away immediately. Examples are circulars (even if you read it briefly), menus for restaurants you won't eat at, those bulky local town magazines / newspapers (does anyone read this shit?). Also includes fake-looking and suspicious-looking government, state or legal documentation. Basically, about 80% of your mail is instantly trash aka instatrash

Includes variation insta-trash

Most of my mail goes right from the tree to my trash can. It's instatrash

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Orientify

To re-align your life (goals, intentions, desires) in a way that keeps you walking a straight and narrow path. When we get lost, we get lost in three dimensions, and and lose our orientation. It's a modern-day version of a "mandala" used in eastern culture to balance the elements of your life.

I've been hanging with the wrong crowd lately and losing sight of my dreams. Time to orientify.

Girlfond

almost a girlfriend. your not really in love, but your not casual either. You are potentially exclusive, but neither of you ask questions.

Yeah, she's my girlfond. Its good enough for now.

Headcircus

What is a circus? It is a company performers/artists of various skillsets that is choreographed, and set usually in a ring or rings.

A headcircus, unlike a headcase, is someone, usually an artist that has multiple skillsets and can easily put them on display for your entertainment.

You may be tempted to think of the circus aspect of this word as a term defining chaos or loss of cognition; when in fact the opposite is true. A circus is an extremely well-choreographed show, with extremely talented individuals performing. The chaos is actually well-controlled.

Another usage of this term is to describe someone afflicted with one or more variations of the affliction ADD (attention deficit disorder) who can use these abilities as a positive instead of a negative (turning a curse into a blessing).

He can sing, dance, draw, paint and play the guitar? That guy's a total headcircus man.

Ink The Seat

Its a phrase used by girls to express a pleasurable experience, especially one that involves sexual chemistry and the production of various juices. Like a squid inks, a girl inks, except its not ink. The seat part comes in because generally you have to sit down to hear profound news, usually bad, but in this case it might be an engagement ring. A diamond is the quintessential seat-inker.

"I loved the diamond engagement ring he gave me. When I saw it, it made me ink the seat"

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Clonemy

Clone + Enemy. A hater that still realizes that deep down, your all kinds of awesome (which is why they hate you), but they decide to copy everything you do and still hate you at the same time.

I wore this awesome and really unique shirt (nobody else at the time had it) to the club last week, but Mike was there (a hater). He talks crap about me all the time. Next week I went, Mike was wearing the same shirt. He's such a Clonemy