barry

A town in South Wales. Scene of an awful genetic experiment in the late 20th C, that turned everyone into a chav. Barry leaves you feeling you've just spent an hour blowing up a balloon with a hole it.
The juvenile courts do a brisk trade.
Like most Welsh Towns the locals set the tone with a fair share of 'go-lightlies' on high-carb, high-fat, plenty-of-it diets. Oblivious as to how stupid they look, a pleasant Saturday can be spent watching local salad- dodgers grazing in the run-down shopping area. (However cannot rival Caerphilly as 'Fat Central'}
High Points:
Port Road; which largely avoids the place altogether.
Barry Island; which largely avoids culture altogether.
The local chemical works; main attraction.
The docks; which in the rain look like a lowry painting .
Er....that's it.

'Barry; A Great Place To Leave'

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special

noun; cannabis-skunk soaked in 40% proof whiskey/vodka, etc, for a year, drunk in shot quantities with friends.

a)'That's not enough special?!'

b) 'Never mind the quantity, feel the spaceship'.

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desolation

a desolation: Describes most inner city areas or major British conurbations. Robbed of individuality by retailing corporations, bent politics, comprehensive education and architectural vandals over a period of decades. More atmosphere on the lunar surface, somewhat less ineteresting than watching paint dry.

a. 'This town is dead'.

b. 'It's a desolation of a place. Let's go to Cardiff before they finish that off too'.

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baghead

Term with which to affectionately chide one whose head, like a woman's handbag, contains everything and nothing all at the same time.

a. 'What are you up to now you baghead?'

b. 'I want a divorce'.

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Harvard

A place where you can pay $100k.p.a for an education you can get in any mid-west whorehouse for $50.

He's a Harvard Man therefore he is stupid and spends lots of money on his son's/daughter's miseducation. (Similar to Yale, Oxford or Cambridge institutions)

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social worker

making lots of money out of people's misery. part of the burgeoning 'new professions class' of the late 20thC and usually a socialist, liberal or worse. social workers took over where the church left off. may know the difference between right and wrong but doesn't see why it should apply to them. a secular priest, monk or nun who enforces politically acceptable thought and behaviour on the hapless, helpless and hopeless. talks complete psychobabble with no scientific foundation whatsoever. often pilloried for taking children into care or leaving them to die; whichever the press find most distressing at the time. almost always an insecure individual who should be having therapy not giving it.
MALE of type tries to compensate for the low social status by talking complete bollocks at the pub.
FEMALE, usually a cat owner, likely to be crazy as a coot and in medieval times would have been burned as a witch.
SW MANAGER has generally failed even at this low level and so exacerbates the public's woes with incompetence in leadership.
most SWs try to avoid mentioning it at parties or face the prospect of further rejection. secretly support the British National Party.

social worker; 'As a social worker, I like to consider the full psycho-socio-sexual-ethnic dynamic in operation in any given situation or mele before drawing a tentative conclusion or proposal. I mean, I may not even go so far as to reach a conclusion, perhaps only hinting at a possible resolution, if that's ok with you?, which may in fact or actually not even be so certain as that. Is that wrong d'ya think?? I believe people should be allowed to live their own lives without interference from the state until we interfere. Failure is a negative concept and I don't like to use that word. However, the true answer may only ever be 'Yes'...or...'No' or...'Maybe'.... and it's never absolutely cl..'

normal person; 'Sorry to interupt. I'm afraid it's too late, the child / old person has been battered into the next life!'

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yorkshire man

oh dear! yorkshire (english county) provides many a salutory tale in how not to behave when away from home. men of that large county tend to be extremely boastful on account of their lack of size in other areas. borish, arrogant, self-opinionated, unforgiving. have a pathological dislike of lancastrians on account of having had their arses thrashed several hundred years ago by said county. treated sympathetically when in lancashire to seek cultural enlightenment. cannot pronounce the word 'cricket'. women of that county provide regular, if 'sameish' entertainment, to lancastrian men living close to the border.

a. I'm a yorkshire man!

b. Then you should leave!

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