Matt the Fat

1. An adult male of excess mass who regards women as an accessory to his overweening ego
2. An obese man who builds his muscles at the expense of his character
3. A man who squeezes into girls jeans without regard to the girth of his ass
4. One who loves an ice cream sandwich almost as much as he loves himself
5. One whose vanity blinds him from the terror of fat growing on his thighs

Matt the Fat shouldn’t try to bulk up because his ass will always be a jiggly pool of cellulite.

Richard Simmons on Matt the Fat: "I've met middle-aged women who have less cellulite on their ass than Matt the Fat."

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