Style Points

Coming up with creative ways to commit suicide for exiting this world so that way the rest of us can have a good topic to talk about for five minutes.

"Did you know that when the guy jumped off that bridge he did a back flip dressed as Ezio?"

"Well clearly he missed the haystack; he was obviously doing it for Style Points."

16👍 13👎

Marriage

The act of sealing your fate and selling your soul to one person, and then possibly losing everything you own when you get a divorce. Notice how I didn't say if?

"What demon did you sell your soul to this time?"

"Marriage."

26👍 7👎

Blizzard

A company that shatters the hopes and dreams of people around the world by feeding them false patch update news for World of Warcraft and getting them excited for nothing.

"Did you hear about Druid healers being buffed next patch? I can't wait!"

"Nah man, it's Blizzard, do you really think they'd stick with it?"

54👍 12👎

Children

The embodiment of evil itself bundled up into a little energetic ball of spiraling emotions which leads into hyper activities that involve you getting up from your comfy spot to supervise them.

"Children spelled backwards is Satan."

"Really?"

"No. It's a recipe for disaster."

19👍 17👎

Murder

A hobby that kills time along with its victims in the process.

"So, what's your favorite hobby?"

"Murder."

784👍 57👎

Magic

A really expensive card game which varies on the fact that you may or may not get extremely good cards for the amount you pay for, commonly bought by wealthy gamers who are actually getting somewhere with their life.

"Anyone want to play some Magic?"

"I can't, I'm broke."

13👍 9👎

Babysitting

The art of chopping up children into tiny pieces very carefully, disemboweling them with care, and selling their organs on eBay for the low, low price of $19.95.

"Babysitting is a great way to show some responsibility, always make sure your tools are sterile and out of reach for young children."

17👍 27👎