Guillotine

The accidental act of zipping up one’s pants when one’s penis is obstructing the process.

Cletus: I got guillotined again, I bled a fuck-ton. I think it’s gonna leave a scar.

Jeremiah: Who the hell asked?

Vietcong

A species of tree only native to Vietnam that saw it's extinction in 1975.

My grandfather patrolling the jungle: Bruh why the trees speaking communist?
My grandbro: Bro you never hear of a vietcong?

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