South Dakota

Some bunk-ass worthlessness plopped to the south of that other worthless state.

The creatures that populate these redneck-ravaged badlands spend most of their time performing activities such as: Violation of animal rights (beastiality); Re-enacting the Johnny Appleseed legend using Milwaukee's Best, children, and guns; Playing Jeff Foxworthy records at the same time as Dierks Bentley, on loop; DVR'ing every NASCAR race to be watched while not beating on another family member or skinning a helpless animal; Cow-tipping in the often ill-maligned weather; Football.

The government is planning to give America a large fiscal break by destroying this part of the country and leaving its denizens for dead.

Motumbo: "Wow, being persecuted in Central Africa while watching my friends die on a daily basis is sure better than living in South Dakota."

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