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The frenzied orgy of extreme acquisition that is the natural result of asking Americans to spend an entire day attempting to be grateful for what they already have.
A team of wild demon horses couldn't drag me to the mall on Black Friday.
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The day selected to commemorate the birth of a Jewish hippie who decided to blow off carpentry to go fishing for the rest of his life, then got nailed to a tree for his lack of a Protestant work ethic.
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