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A violent sexual act involving the thrusting of a an erect penis into a partner's open eye followed by kicking said partner's leg in a manner severe enough to cause significant pain and/or damage, temporarily giving them the appearance of a one-eyed, peg-legged pirate.
Things were going great with Emily until I gave her a Pittsburgh Pirate. Apparently most chicks aren't willing to lose the use of their limbs or eyes for the sake of unparalleled eroticism and unprecedented sexual gratification. Women.
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1. The act of passing flatulence while tightly bundled under covers or in a sleeping bag with another individual, thus creating a warm, pungent pocket of gas that is incredibly unpleasant to be party to.
2. An awful cooking show on RFD-TV ("Rural America's Most Important Network") mocked on a weekly basis by Joel McHale of The Soup.
1. My girlfriend kicked me out on the street after I gave ger a Dutch Oven last night. She still can't get the smell out of her hair.
2. Dutch Oven is the most unintentionally hilarious television program out there.
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A chick who's famous for having a big ass and a sex tape.
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The vast area encompassing New York State north of Westchester county. A varied mosaic of farmland, woodland, picturesque rolling hills, and towns and cities ranging from the charming to the decrepit. Generally more provincial and less cosmpolitan than its densely urban New York City counterpart, its citizenry is more approachable and friendly albeit less refined and cultured than the pretentious yuppies of New York and Long Island. Some of its urban centers are buoyed economically and culturally by the influence of many universities and (in the case of the capital region) government administration centers; however most of its large cities are mired in varying states of urban decay and have been hemorrhaging population since the 1950s due to a steady loss of jobs and a subsequent increase in crime. Utica, Rochester, and Newburgh are particularly miserable places to set foot in. Its more rural areas, which feature breathtaking landscapes, are lovely and bucolic albeit mind-numbingly boring to actually live in.
In summation, upstate New York is too large and varied an area to define succinctly. As a native resident of New York City who went to college upstate I can both laud it for being physically beautiful and its natives for being candid, frank, and hospitable while noting that I would never want to live there permanently as life there can grow trite, repetitive, cold as hell, and insufferably boring after a while and the locals' lack of sophistication and city-esque hustle, while charming at first, can also eventually grow unflattering. Not that I'd want them to change. Their lack of tact and culture is offset by their good character and sincerity, something too many city residents and Long Islanders sorely do not have. Both Upstate and Downstate need each other, more or less. It's a yin-yang thing.
New Yorker 1: I'm going upstate for the summer.
New Yorker 2: You'll love it in Upstate New York for the first few weeks. It's nice to get away from the yuppie assholes down here for a while. Eventually, though, you'll need to come back to civilization.
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The day 9/11 will officially become funny, as all tragedies become funny after 22.3 years.
I can't wait to start telling my best bin Laden jokes on January 11, 2024.
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A term referring to several different team sports around the world. Most games known as "football" actually involve the use of the hands more frequently than the feet, such as American Football, Canadian Football, Gaelic Football, and Australian Rules Football.
The term also refers to Association Football, a game in which players primarily use their feet (although they also make extensive use of the head, chest, and knees while goalkeepers are also permitted to use their hands). Most of the English-speaking world (the USA, Canada, Australia, South Africa, New Zealand, Ireland to an extent, etc.) refers to this game as "soccer" to differentiate it from their indigenous football games, although ethnocentric and culturally insular English people insist that "football" is the only acceptable term for the sport.
Although most English-speaking people from different cultures who live on multiple continents know "football" as a game that involves picking a ball up and running with it, English people themselves know that nothing short of literal translation will do when naming sports. If it's called "football", then it should be a sport where only feet are used. Except for the countless times in soccer games when the players use their heads, chests, knees, shoulders, and sometimes even their hands, of course.
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