penis

A part of the body used to educate those less informed of the base levels of pleasure available to their bodies that they are, in fact, not lesbian. Tends to shrink in the presence of men or bad weather. Excessive use may cause severe side effects, including but not limited to: pleasure, orgasms, syphilis, pink socks, and the uncontrollable urge to Himalayan pile driver someone

I showed a lesbian girl how a penis is really used the other night, now she has a boyfriend.
Also, don't forget to wear a condom

May 11

That moment when you receive true freedom from the worst 4 years of classes anyone could ask for... which quickly comes to an end when some random ass company chains you to some desk by your mental pink sock forcing you to slave away in a room smelling like a dutch oven where all the couches in the break room have already been hot pocketed by the last bitch who got an alaskan snow dragon on her smoke break.

Well shit, after May 11 the only job I could get was in California. How am I gonna tell my girlfriend?

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