How

How do I play with these dark tricky concepts? Well I don’t fucking know! It’s almost like I’m some kind of genius! What could it possibly be!

Hym “Well, I don’t know how I do it. It’s almost as though I’m the greatest mind who has ever lived! But that can’t possibly be the case because then people would treat me as though I was the greatest mind who has ever lived... Hmm... but how else would it be possible? For me to do the thing that you said is incredibly difficult, with ease (literally minimal effort) I would have to be some sort of paragon of intellectual and comedic competence! But that can’t be the case or you would be lauding me for my profound capacity for thought... How indeed 🤔🤔🤔 Hmmmm.....”

Envy

They shouldn’t be glorifying fatties! They should be glorifying ME! I’m the good one! They shouldn’t be canceling ME! I should be the one canceling! I’m so righteous and good. He shouldn’t be lauded for his brilliant ideas! He’s evil! I should be lauded for his ideas.

Hym “That’s envy! That’s what envy looks like.”

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Ironic

OK so she does understand irony. Oh! That's my third obsession. Brett's knees.

Hym "You know it's ironic that, um... Something. I don't know, honestly I don't have an ironic thing to point out here. Brett's knees was the joke. That's all I got for this one. It's a callback. In case you weren't aware. An old one. It's... Um... We've been doing this for a long time already.... Yeah. But I gotta go to sleep here so... Bye.

Gatekeepers

Useless pieces of shit who need special rights, privileges, and collective societal preferential treatment to even complete with people you consider yourself too good to fuck.

Hym "If by 'Gatekeepers' you mean 🖕 that... Then, yes. You're correct. That's not what I mean when I uses the word. But sure...."

Helpful

What you are not. What is referencing me supposed to do for me? Nothing. Useless. "Not justifying it! Just explaining it!" Like, what the fuck is that supposed to mean? And not the quote in and of itself but the fact that you are doing it in reference to me. What is that supposed to me to me. Yes. I understand that you are reading this. Crediting me with the fruits of my labor would prove that you are not better than me. Which is exactly why you are not doing it.

Hym "Oh, and I almost forgot to mention (well, not really 'forgot' but I wanted to sit in this for a while) remember the other week when I had some guy behind the counter of a gas station say the name of the last restaurant I was at before he even address the fact that he was ringing up my purchase? Well, that same night I had a pair of kids (looked maybe 16-18) pull up next to me as I was driving, get my attention, the passenger either flipped me off or point up to the sky (either 👆🖕), and then they sped off, and honked their horn 3 times. That's shit isn't normal. If that shit isn't insane to you then you degree is as meaningless as your book. Famous YouTubers referencing me also isn't normal but is slowly becoming a common phenomenon. That's not helpful. It's so not helpful that it suffices to say that it seems intended to be the opposite of helpful. The former is going to continue happening regardless of how hard I work. And if you want me to 'be normal' then that is no longer an option. A 'normal' does not have to tolerate this. Therefore, I will not tolerate this. If the bus driver can't be reasoned with and he refuses to turn the wheel; if don't need to let him drive me off of a cliff."

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Submitted

Hey, wow! Look at that! Haven't seen that screen in a while. Cool.

Hym "Actually, now that I've been able to infer that whether or not I get the submitted screen has no relationship to whether you're able to see this I don't actually know what it means that it's back up. Unlike the fact that women are fucking retards at work and then lying and making excuses as to why they're doing it. I know exactly what that means for me and for everyone else and can infer that with a nigh-perfect level of accuracy."

Sleeping

What should be doing right now.

Iam "Ngghhuuh..."

Hym "Why aren't you sleeping?"

Iam "The same reason I'm not doing a lot of things!"

Hym "Oho! Somebody's cranky! Hahahaha!"

Iam 😩 *sigh* "I'm sorry... I just can't. Alright? Leave me alone..."

Hym "Okie dokie. Try not to think about our slow and steady descent into madness."

Iam "That isn't helping!"

Hym "It..."

Iam "I KNOW! IT ISN'T INTENDED TO!"

Hym "Hahahahaha!"

Iam 😩 "You know, the worse part is having to do things tomorrow, you know? It wouldn't matter that I can sleep if I didn't have to do anything after I woke up."

Hym "I hate doing things... That's probably why you can't keep a job."

Iam "Yeah, well, that's a whole nother topic entirely... I need sleeeeeeepah! 😩"

Hym "I need... 🤔 The blood of my vanquished enemies. 😌"

Iam 😣 "Shit... The sun is coming up..."

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