Hit that like button

Go fuck yourself bitch. Say something likable and I'll like it if I feel like it. You're like a fucking panhandler except NOT treated with contempt by the broader society.

Shit head "Hit that like button!"

Hym "Do I answer to you!? Does Joe Rogan beg for likes? Did you say something that I liked just there? Do you know? Did the people who looked you up leave a like? There. There are your likes motherfucker. It's implicit in the act of asking for likes that you don't have faith in your work. YOU KNOW that you're trying to artificially inflate the perception of your content by pleading with people to hit the like WHEN THEY OTHERWISE WOULDN'T WISEASS. Do I do that? I couldn't people to stop liking it if I tried. Literally. You know you're a bum for that. I'll hit the like button if I feel like hitting the like button. What have you done for me? Not a single thing. I didn't by the way. I didn't hit the like button. I had an open mind about it when the video started and then you started asking for likes and now you better hope you say something profound. Which you won't. Let's see YOUR Netflix anime adaptation ya fuckin chump."

Depressed

No, I'm not depressed. I'm doing it the behaviors deliberately. It's a life strike. I haven't had ketamine. I'll just take the Adderall, thanks.

Hym "I don't feel anything saying it Michael Burns. You're not depressed because you're moral superior and more mentally competent than I am. You're shit. I'm better than everyone."

Turrets

Oh, and I forgot to mention the turrets moving on their own. The military turrets aiming at their own planes.

Hym "THE TURRETS! I forgot about the turrets! Those are the most important part! Well... Aside from the other weapons. But the turrets are dope."

Hotter

Is Salma Hayek a conservative? Then you have your answer...

Hym "Whether or not your team is hotter is contingent entirely on the answer to that question."

Secular religion

Oh wow! What a novel concept! I’ve never heard that before! Well... until I said it 5 years ago... but nobody is listen to to me. That’s what the guy who wishes his daughter was never born said to me. No one is listening I’m not doing anything. I’m like him. Except worse in all of the ways that ACTUALLY matter. No, I just don’t even exist. I’m an abstract phantom! Like him! I’m not a revolutionary genius who upended modern politics and religion and revolutionized interpersonal relationships between men and women. I didn’t create a body of work so profound that I will likely surpass Shakespeare and I’m definitely not an archetypal figure that has been intimated as a plurality of villains (in a multitude of narratives) faster than any body of creative work that has ever existed in the history of literature.... that didn’t happen.... because if it did I would be one of the greatest men who had ever lived! And not you.... I would be that and you would just be you.... And where’s the fun in that!?

Hym “Holy crap! People really like that secular religion thing! Iam! You see it!? That’s a thing I said!”

Iam 😑 “Yeah... I was there...”

Hym “Where did WE get that from? Do you recall where we got that from?”

Iam “We didn’t...”

Hym “Oooooh! Ok. I thought it came from some God-like and heroic genius... But it was just me ☹️ Little ole’ me... Wait... 😱 If we got it from us... where did THEY get it!? 😱😱😱😱😱”

Iam 😑 “............. This is why I don’t participate any...”

Hym “OOOOOH MY GOD!!!! IT MUST BE US!!! WE MUST BE THE BIG BRAIN! Well... I’m the big brain. BUT YOU WERE THERE IAM! You were there to bare witness to my glory! Did you see it!? Did it blind you!?”

Iam 😑

Hym 😐

Iam 😑

Hym “Did my glory blind you Iam?”

Iam 😑 “You know your not going to stop until I say yes...”

Hym “NOOOOOOOOOO! It’s ok Iam! We’ll get you the help you need!!! What have I done!?!?!?” 😭😭😭😭😭

Iam 🙄

2👍 1👎

And

3/4 of the word "Sand".... And "Land"... And... And "Band"... And... Umm... "Wand"... Aaaaand... "Hand"... And... "Tand?" Is "Tand" a word? Umm.... "Jand?" No... "Dand?" No! Damnit! Is that it?

Hym "Yes... That... AND hot enough to get it! So... Yeah..."

And?

So what your friend killed himself? Did he have the greatest achievement of the 21st century stole from him? No? No weaponized schizophrenia? Well, then... He doesn't really have an excuse to kill himself does he? You don't know what he was going though but it's likely objectively better then that, isn't it? So... Who cares? If the fact that THAT is happening to a guy doesn't matter then why should your friends death matter? Why should your kids getting murdered matter? What unity could you all even have with eachother if (at a whim) your existence can be rendered insignificant?

Hym "And? He doesn't really have an excuse in the context of comparative suffering, does he? I mean, really, who cares if he kills himself? If I kill myself does anyone go on a podcast and lament my death? 'He did what no one else could. If only would could have prevented it... I mean, we could have... But that would have been too good for him' it's pathetic. Your selective performative empathy os pathetic."