Facebook Diva

Someone who sits behind a computer using Facebook as a platform to verbally quarrel about non-issues. The internet equivalent to people who say things like "What chu laughin' at?," " and "Say dat to ma face!"

Victim: Check out this graphic about how much bigger Africa is than most people think.
Facebook Diva: What does the size of Africa have to do with how big kids think this country is? Africa is a continent. Not a country. Let's see how many countries fit in Asia, which is over 5,000,000 sq miles larger than Africa.
Victim: ....

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heart attack lever

The attachment underneath most common office chairs used to raise or lower the chair's height, or when pulled out, to make whoever will sit in it next look like an idiot. When the lever is in, the occupant can recline to a reasonable distance. When this lever is pulled out however, the unwitting fool will recline way further than thought possible, causing this person to experience the feeling of falling. This may result in, but is not limited to: accelerated heart rate, loud outbursts of curse words, loss of colon control, and (according to a study I just made up) over 1000 heart attacks per year.

Frank: "Holy @$%#!"
*office laughter*
Frank: "Who the hell pulled the heart attack lever out on my chair?!"
*silence*
Alex: "Does something smell like zoo poo?"

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fishbowl

When someone has had the unfortunate mishap of dropping their cell phone in the toilet, this is the act of grabbing it out quickly, resembling someone trying to grasp a fish from a fishbowl.

Well that's the last time I fishbowl my phone out of the toilet. I'm officially boycotting texting and crapping at the same time

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