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The Perm

When a group of guys form a circle around a girl, masturbate into her hair, let it soak in and then use their sperm donation to fix up her hair in a stylish doo. This usually happens before an important school dance or wedding.

Dumb Girl: It's only an hour before prom and I still don't have my hair done. What am I gonna do!?

Some Random Guy: Don't worry girl. Me and the guys can help you out. We'll give you the best perm ever.

(The perm)

by I Killed a Hooker Once January 11, 2011

10👍 14👎


Clapping Clams

The act of two humans who, at the time of interaction, possess a vagina (and oftentimes a clitoris) and achieve sexual pleasure and/or release by repeatedly rubbing, or pressing together forcefully, their respective vaginas against one another. For you see, a vagina oft resembles the partially open shell of a clam and the sound of two vaginas coming together may produce a sound akin to that of the common hand-clap.

John: Brian, my 'ol chum! Foretold was your journey to the playground with the rising sun. What tidings do you bring?
Brian: Greetings John, my most trusted confident! I bring news of great consternation.

John: Say it is not so! What happening has produced such a bother which may quake us to the very bone?
Brian: Why, tis of my mother. For you see, my dear mama and her lady companion Mary are at this very moment clapping clams on the settee in the conservatory.

John: Holy fucking shit dude. That's awesome!

Brian: Not for the upholstery.

by I Killed a Hooker Once September 13, 2022


Clapping Clams

The act of two humans who, at the time of interaction, possess a vagina (and oftentimes a clitoris) and achieve sexual pleasure and/or release by repeatedly rubbing, or pressing together forcefully, their respective vaginas against one another. For you see, a vagina oft resembles the partially open shell of a clam and the sound of two vaginas coming together may produce a sound akin to that of the common hand-clap.

John: Brian, my 'ol chum! Foretold was your journey to the playground with the rising sun. What tidings do you bring?
Brian: Greetings John, my most trusted confident! I bring news of great consternation.

John: Say it is not so! What happening has produced such a bother which may quake us to the very bone?
Brian: Why, tis of my mother. For you see, my dear mama and her lady companion Mary are at this very moment clapping clams on the settee in the conservatory.

John: Holy fucking shit dude. That's awesome!

Brian: Not for the upholstery.

by I Killed a Hooker Once September 13, 2022


Concrete Job

The act of ejaculating your seminal fluids onto a female's face, spreading it all over with the head of your erect penis, and then allowing it to dry evenly and smoothly.

Kid 1: "Dude, I finished a great concrete job last night!"

Kid 2: "In your basement?"

Kid 1: "No, on your Mother's face."

Kid 2: "You bastard."

by I Killed a Hooker Once December 15, 2009

36👍 5👎


Babycrack

A small white child with no skateboarding skillz, sucks at photography and always wears corduroys and flannels. Also known as a scrub. No girl, no car and might possibly be addicted to crack.

Kid 1: "Dude, when are you gonna get a new car, a girl, a job and start puberty?

Kid 2: "No bigs bra. You know."

Kid 1: "Psh, okay Zak Depiero."

Kid 2: "My name is babycrack!"

by I Killed a Hooker Once December 14, 2009

23👍 3👎