Henry the Hoover

For men, using a Henry Hoover for sexual pleasure. An alternative is Henrietta the Hoover if using the pink model. For women, it is a man who leaves 'war wounds'. Can be shortened to Henry.

"I have never... done it with Henry the Hoover."

"That Rob is such a Henry. Look what he did to my neck!"

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Priestlands

A school in Pennington, Hampshire, characterised for it's stunningly gifted students. Murderers, rapists, drunks, stoners, dealers, mafia, abused kids, expectant mothers. The only reason they get such good results is that they kick all the failing kids out a month before the exams. And they say that southern kids are soft...

"My child is looking forward to going to Priestlands. I need to get them some more things for the big day."
"May I recommend some durex and perhaps a knife?"

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grockle

A holiday maker, but one from outside the local vicinity, i.e. someone holidaying in Christchurch who's from Southampton isn't a grockle. Term used on the south coast and has spread eastwards, stopping at Southampton water. Most commonly heard in the solent town of Lymington where it's used as an insult towards ignorant and usually posh tourists, those with caravans, those with five kids, a dog and granddad tagging along and those that have been coming to the town for twenty years and think they know/own the place. Most commonly heard amongst fed-up shopworkers and working-class locals. Tends not to be applied to foreign tourists as these generally tend to be considerate people when travelling and don't make a nuisance of themselves.

"Heads up, grockle in the shop!"

"I want to take out these grockles with a sniper rifle."

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gridder

Derived from 'cattle grid', a gridder is a person who lives on the more rural side of a road with a cattle grid. Someone who has one on their road and in front of their house is known as a 'double gridder'. It can also be applied to those who have to go over cattle grids in order to reach work. (Originated Hythe, Hampshire)

"Where do you live?"
"Sway Road."
"Oh you're such a gridder."

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bhangramuffin

A bhangramuffin is a person of Indian or Pakistani origin who speaks in an Estuary accent, wears sportswear or clothing that went out of fashion in the 90s and often has a taste for Asian girls, known as the 'rasmaloi', but is rarely rewarded for his efforts. First found in Goodness Gracious Me in the Bhangramuffin sketch.

"Why you going after them rasmaloi, man?"
"Because I'm absolute besty. I'm a bhangramuffin!"
"INNIT!"

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tarquin

A person who appears on a bluetooth search, but you will be unable to locate or find ever again. No matter how many people there are in the room/train/church/etc.

I tried searching for 'Foxxxy' on bluetooth again. I'm beginning to think this is a tarquin.

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diddicai

A diddicai is a cross between a cacker and a gypsy. Occassionally, diddicais can be found as tinker/gypsy offspring. This term is from the New Forest dialect and is very derogatory.

"See that bloke? You can tell - he's a diddicai."

"You look just like a diddicai."

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