Testing the Gay Waters

The way a gay friend might very slowly introduce the idea that he would like to see if he can convert you.

Man 1: Last night I was talking to one of my buddies online and he told me in the middle of the conversation the he just finished masturbating.

Man 2: Dude I think he was Testing the Gay Waters.

124👍 31👎

chopping the lumber down

The first jerk of the day. This is the reason god invented morning wood. Popularized by Alligator Dave in the song Spank My Monkey.

Man 1: I had a mean case of morning wood today.

Man 2: What did you do?

Man 1: I got started chopping the lumber down of course.

153👍 24👎

Filbilly

A person or persons who come from the provincial/rural parts of the Philippines where the general population is very poor and as a result the masses must live off the land: these conditions produce Filipinos who are uneducated in "City ways" or "Street smarts”, not unlike the American hillbilly. They will often refer to anecdotes that are common place for them that they fully believe are the norm for the rest of the world. They are not dumb, just uneducated when it comes to the way the rest of the world operates. (You try growing up without running water!)

(These are actual things said by Filipinos I know personally)

Filbilly
EX 1 Filipina: Why are you buying dog food for that dog? In the Philippines dogs eat only leftovers.

EX 2 Filipino: Where I'm from we are taught that in order to have a healthy baby you must drink a lot of beer, this makes the babies stronger.

EX 3 Filipina: Combining shrimp and chicken in one meal will result in cancer.

137👍 48👎

awful barrera

creating a seal around a vagina, and then attempting to inflate said vagina using vomit.

I saw this movie this weekend where this guy gave this chick an awful barrera

7👍 5👎

Mc Froogledoogle

When all you have is 3 bucks and you want to get royally stuffed, purchase a double cheese burger, a mc chicken and a small order of fries. seperate the double cheese burger so that you have a bun with beef on it on either side. add the chicken fillet from the mc chicken and put fries on top of th chicken in between the beef, then reconstruct the burger.

Man 1: are you hungry bro?

Man 2: dude im royally stuffed because i had a Mc Froogledoogle

236👍 92👎

Front Leaning Rest Position

What the U.S. Army calls the "push up". Why in the hell cant they call it the push up like every body else in the English speaking world.

Drill Sergeant: Why are you late private?

Private : Well Drill Sergea

Drill Sergeant: (Cuts the Private off mid-sentence) I didn’t ask for any lip Private, Front Leaning Rest Position move!

318👍 155👎

What The Figgity Fuck

What you say when the classic "what the fuck" wont suffice, may also be abbreviated as WTFF for texters.

Man 1: Dude did you hear my brother got my mom pregnant?

Man 2: What The Figgity Fuck?!?

148👍 24👎