Stevenson

Adlai E. Stevenson High School (SHS) is a school located at 1 Stevenson Drive Lincolnshire, Illinois. The school was established in 1965 yet somehow managed to be awful since 1964.

SHS has more money that it knows what to do with. Unfortunately this money goes into aesthetics rather than improving the smell of the buildings. The smell of ass can be smelled in classrooms in both the New and Old building. But the school decided instead to add a "point" to the old building and give the entrance the look of an airport. A butt ugly statue that even when completely entombed in Ivy and dirt will still be hideous because you know it is still there looking as stupid and ugly as all get resides on the side of the school facing route 22. Ladder of peace, more like waste of space.

Security guards are bountiful at Stevenson as well. While a majority of the student body wouldn't have the balls to defend themselves in a fist fight the school see the need to have an army of 45-79 year olds at the ready, in case a fight does break out. The security personnel then become bored and look to enforce EVERY stupid rule in the rule book of the school. They also enjoy cruising around in school owned Beauvilles the parking lots of the school and the neighboring streets off-campus(where they have no jurisdiction) looking for Freshmen and Sophomores who are not on-campus. They fail to notice of course that kids can just go over a hill and be free from security.

Adlai E. Stevenson High School is the illegitimate child of Stalin and Castro. If you can't reach the children through their minds take them by force. The only good thing about the school is that they own Chevrolet Beauvilles.

Student 1 - "Holy shit here comes Donnathon the security! We must have done nothing wrong here at Adlai E. Stevenson High School!"

Student 2- "I guess we could just briskly walk away and act like we can't hear her, she is going to need to take a breather after walking 100 feet."

Donnathon- "Throw that can pant, pant AWAY! pant, pant I will pant, pant write you pant, pant up!"

Student 1- "How is SHE a security guard?"

Student 2- "Affirmative action...or nobody else probably applied for her shitty job. I really hope she doesn't think she has any authority. Hey look the Red Beauville!"

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