Ethan

his favorite catchphrase is " I'd like you to know." Thinks he is Matthew McConaughey
drives a 2002 buick calls it Tralier Trash Tammy and runs out of gas in front of boyfriends dorm in front of German twins
He hits traffic cones for fun
changes his major every other week
everyone is out to get him. Always receives dirty looks

that ethan just ran over a traffic cone