Cam Time

A personalized account of time, in which events are not viewed along their actual linear temporal order, but rather in the order with which the interpreter was made aware of their presence. Is widely recognized worldwide, except in Ireland, where the unpopularity of "Cam's Time" baffles and disgusts most Western scholars.

Say there are two people, Cam and Douchebag 2.0, engaged in conversation through various forms of media. Douchebag 2.0 sends a Facebook post asking "Why am I a douchebag?" at 10:11AM. But Cam doesn't look at his Facebook that morning, and instead answers an SMS from Douchebag 2.0 sent at 11:32AM which asks the same question. Cam will later check his Facebook at 2:42PM, thus seeing the question to which he had already replied. From Cam's perspective, according to the principles of Cam Time, the SMS text message occurred first and the Facebook post second, which remains a legitimate claim within the parameters of Cam Time theory even though in real time the Facebook post came first and the SMS second. If Douchebag 2.0 argues to the contrary than it is readily apparent that he truly is a douchebag, since he doesn't understand the rudimentary elements of Cam Time theory and shouldn't have sent the Facebook post or SMS in the first place because it makes him look like an even bigger douchebag.

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