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The pubescent little shit I have to tolerate ever since she rushed her way out of out of my goddamn mother's womb.
Sister: *Snitches on me for no good reason*
Me: You better fifty fucking feet away from me, you pain in the ass.
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The type of porn that I wouldn't even view by mistake, or at least I pray to god I don't.
That extreme porno ads they give on pornhub fucking hampers my lady boner.
5👍 2👎
A trait only the talented can attain.
It's usually funny when you can painfully relate to or imagine it.
1👍 1👎
I. Fat that predominantly men obsess over. Even the fat-shaming ones fantasize over them and are strongly in denial about it.
II. The first thing dudes inspect in chicks most of the time.
III. Are usually fake but sadly most fail to acknowledge.
IV. Something you can truly achieve from squats.
V. Something that is so fucking overrated in society it becomes unbearable at times.
Assmonkey: Lemme hit up dat booty doe
Me: Get the fuck out, nerd.
Bimbo Chick Next to Me: *Winks at assmonkey and jiggles her saggy ass in yoga pants*
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Surprisingly not your mom, but mine. Most of the time, to say the least.
If it weren't for the fact that I came out of her canal, I wouldn't have give a flying fuck for the cunt.
I still love you mom.
Ignorance is bliss. - Donald Trump's brain 2k16
Ignorance is probably his real birth name as well.
120👍 169👎