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zebra crossing

A large number of zebras that kill people who attempt to prove that black is white. Usually after proving the non-existence of God with a strange fish.

"Oh, that was easy," says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed at the next zebra crossing.

by Intelligence001 January 13, 2019


Sweet Roll

Something that seems to keep being stolen, but the guards won't put up with it over an arrow to the knee.

Let me guess. Someone stole your sweet roll?

by Intelligence001 July 18, 2016

12πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


Hippocrates

1. The "father of modern medicine." A Greek man who formed the basis for modern medical practice.

2. An egregious misspelling of "hypocrites."

Dumb person: Nothing I hate more than Hippocrates!
Rational person: What did the father of modern medicine ever do to you, man?

by Intelligence001 May 9, 2024


Sea Bear

A vicious creature that lives in the ocean and attacks campers. Here are some rules to follow to prevent attracting these beasts:
1. Don't play the clarinet poorly.
2. Don't wave an active flashlight back and forth. (Flashlights are considered natural prey.)
3. Don't stomp around; they take it as a challenge.
4. Don't eat cheese. (Cubed. Sliced is just fine.)
5. Never wear a sombrero in a goofy fashion.
6. Or clown shoes.
7. Or a hoop skirt.
8. NEVER, EVER, EVER, SCREECH LIKE A CHIMPANZEE.
9. In the event of an attack, do not run. They are agitated by it and will seize the opportunity to attack again.
10. Do not limp, either. They hate that even more than running.
In the event you detect a nearby sea bear, or otherwise feel unsure you are located in sea bear territory, draw a perfect circle in the sand, sit in the middle, and wait for the danger to pass. An oval is not sufficient.

Whether or not the sea bear exists is up for debate, as only one person is known to have survived a sea bear attack. (Witnesses claim he was incompetent enough to try all known ways to attract a sea bear.)

by Intelligence001 February 7, 2017

64πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


politically incorrect

The opposite of politically correct. Ignore all the uneducated morons on this site, being politically incorrect is basically insulting everyone as you wish and acting like you have moral superiority over people who are actually educated "because it's your opinion." That's not freedom of speech, it's total jackassery.

Maybe if all the politically incorrect morons actually listened, it wouldn't be such a problem. (such as me typing this shit)

by Intelligence001 September 17, 2016

39πŸ‘ 4409πŸ‘Ž


prepare to die

The tagline of the game Dark Souls.

Protip: They aren't kidding.

Guy 1: Played some Dark Souls the other day.
Guy 2: How'd it go.
Guy 1: When the box said, "prepare to die," it turned out they were serious.

by Intelligence001 January 18, 2018

9πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


Sun

Big glowing thing in the sky during the day, genius.

If you're looking up the sun on this site, you should probably go outside more often.

by Intelligence001 May 18, 2017