Only one beer

Lie you usually tell your wife when going for a cold one with your friends.

Guy: I'm going to bar with my friends.
Wife: so you're gonna get wasted like last time?
Guy: nah I'm gonna have only one beer

r mom

Some idiot forgot the U while trying to roast you.
Now you have the chance to get him back by simply tiping No U.

Example:
10 yr old: r mom
You: No U